November 2011
1 post
Jack and Jill
“As for Mr. Sandler, I have always been interested in what he would do next, and I suppose I still am, especially if what he does next is retire.”
- Going Over the Top, Then Downhill. November 10, 2011
June 2011
1 post
Transformers - Dark of the Moon
“I can’t decide if this movie is so spectacularly, breathtakingly dumb as to induce stupidity in anyone who watches, or so brutally brilliant that it disarms all reason.”
“Mr. Bay’s lax notions of coherence and plausibility — I’m sorry, I mean his utterly nonexistent notions of coherence and plausibility…”
“Mr. LaBeouf, who is his own annoying...
May 2011
1 post
Kung Fu Panda 2
“Have I spoiled anything? If you are 7, maybe.”
A Noble Panda Takes On a Nightmare Enemy. May 25, 2011
April 2011
1 post
Arthur
“Never have I needed a drink so badly.”
- A Lush Life Revisited, With Nanny on Board, April 7, 2011
March 2011
1 post
Limitless
“…the filmmakers seem to have misplaced their supply of coherence pills.”
- A Simple Prescription for Superior Powers March 17, 2011
January 2011
2 posts
No Strings Attached
“It’s not really as confusing as it all sounds, but it is hard to escape the feeling that Mr. Reitman shot six or seven movies and then went into the editing room blindfolded to splice them all together.”
- Firmly Committed to Casual, January 20, 2011
The Dilemma
“To ask if Mr. Vaughn and Ms. Connelly have any chemistry is to invoke the wrong science; extreme disparities of size and shape suggest, instead, a fascinating problem of zoology, as if a whippet had decided to cohabit with a yak.”
- A Guy Thing? Not That Kind. And Not That Kind Either, January 13, 2011
November 2010
1 post
Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows: Part 1
“Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows: Part 1” is rated PG-13 (Parents strongly cautioned). Dark arts, rough magic.
- Time for Young Wizards to Put Away Childish Things, November 18, 2010
September 2010
1 post
Howl
“I saw the best poems of previous generations destroyed by sanity, well-fed, calm, neatly dressed, tiptoeing through lecture halls at 10 a.m. looking for a passing grade on a term paper.”
- Leaping Off the Page, a Beatnik’s Poetic Rant, September 23, 2010
August 2010
4 posts
Piranah 3D
“Welcome to the future of cinema.”
- The Fish Are Really Biting Those Women in Bikinis, August 22, 2010
Middle Men
“Voice-over narration, tracking shots through teeming nightclubs and an occasional Rolling Stones song on the soundtrack do not make you Martin Scorsese.”
- A Purveyor of Prurience in a Family-Man Guise, August 5, 2010
Charlie St. Cloud
“Certain logical questions do arise. For example, when a living person plays catch with an apparition from beyond the grave, visible only to him, do they use a real baseball?”
-Playing With Phantoms in the Northwest Woods, July 29, 2010
Dinner for Schmucks
“Wearing what look like prosthetic teeth purchased from Ye Olde Peter Sellers Gagge Shoppe, Mr. Carell plays a man so utterly clueless…”
- What? We Might Be the Real Losers?, July 29, 2010
July 2010
10 posts
Salt
“Not that “Salt” matters much.”
- Spies, Spider Venom and Sex Appeal, July 22, 2010
The Love Guru
“A whole new vocabulary seems to be required. To say that the movie is not funny is merely to affirm the obvious. The word “unfunny” surely applies to Mr. Myers’s obnoxious attempts to find mirth in physical and cultural differences but does not quite capture the strenuous unpleasantness of his performance. No, “The Love Guru” is downright antifunny, an experience that makes you wonder...
The Sorcerer's Apprentice
“I put that question to a colleague, who condescendingly replied, “because it’s a Jerry Bruckheimer movie.” Duh. But still. It’s stupid.”
- When a Dweeb Learns He’s Magic, July 13, 2010
Inception
“A lot of this is — what is the critical term of art I’m looking for? — pretty cool.”
- This Time the Dream’s on Me, July 15, 2010
Despicable Me
“Are you choked up yet? Are you laughing yet? You might be before the picture is over, but only because the alternative would be the kind of snarling fury that would make you feel bad about yourself.”
- Lunar Toons and Cookie Capers, July 9, 2010
Knight and Day
“But back to the film at hand, though I would rather talk about almost anything else.”
- Opposites Attract, June 23, 2010
Sex and the City 2
“Your watch will tell you that a shade less than two and a half hours have elapsed, but you may be shocked at just how much older you feel when the whole thing is over.”
- Operation Desert Togs, May 27, 2010
The Twilight Saga: Eclipse
“Mr. Lautner still seems to have recently escaped from a high school cheerleading squad somewhere, and Mr. Pattinson’s pout conveys not the existential angst of a lovelorn immortal, but rather the peevishness of a guy who just lost a Greta Garbo lookalike contest — for the third time in a row! — to his own girlfriend.”
- Global Warming Among the Undead, June 30, 2010
Robin Hood
“Don’t tread on him!”
- Rob the Rich? Give to the Poor? Oh, Puh-leeze!, May 14, 2010
The Last Airbender
“‘The Last Airbender’? Let’s hope so, though there is a scene at the very end that gestures toward a sequel.”
- Mastering the Elements, July 1, 2010